Poor Jack may have developed a fear of going to sleep. I think he knows we are going to put stuff on him while he is asleep and he really does not like waking up with a mask on his face and a pulse oximeter on his finger or toe. He had the hardest time getting to sleep tonight. Took about an hour and he was so tired. I know that I'm doing the right thing by being very diligent about getting the CPAP positioned correctly and getting it on him BEFORE he gets too deeply asleep and has an apneic episode. That does not make it any easier when your baby is crying.
I try so hard to be attentive to Jack's wishes as well as his needs but it's a very hard tightrope to walk. I feel like God has planted motherly wisdom in me somewhere and sometimes little parts of it eek out and I know what to do but so much of the time I can't hear it because of all the conflicting noise that I hear on how to raise a child "right." How/when to get the CPAP on is just one more of those things on the list of things I had no idea I would need to know as a mother.