Wordless Wednesday

A Tough Phase

Jack is talking more every day. It is very cool to get more insight into what he's thinking. He is very excited to share his thoughts and opinions with us.

Too bad his thoughts and wishes don't always align with those of his parents...enter the boundary enforcers...

Cue the ominous music...

Not getting your way or not being able to express what you want can lead to big enormous powerful feelings of frustration. Have you ever been extremely frustrated in a conversation with another person and just wanted to shake some sense into them or walked away from a conversation thinking you'd like to hit something?

No? Hmmm....well you're very lucky and probably not gonna get the rest of this post then.

Back to Jack...when he gets frustrated these days he starts swinging or kicking or both. And he's a very strong little boy. What's a Mom and Dad to do?

I have friends that spank for hitting. Dr. MacDonald of Communicating Partners recommends silent restraint as in your child loses his physical freedom yet does not get your attention. Supernanny would put the child in timeout I think. Still other people recommend reading books about hitting together. Other people recommend giving your child words to express their frustration or acceptable alternatives like punching a pillow. Patty Wipfler of Hand in Hand recommends restraining your child while calmly and firmly telling the child "I won't let you hit".

We've been in this phase in varying degrees of intensity for quite some time now.
We've tried all of these methods, yes all of them. What surprise that Jack needs an approach that is individualized to him!

I don't know what the answer is but I do know what I believe and what I want. I believe that Jack tries hard to do what is expected of him. I believe that Jack cares deeply for me, his mom, and for his dad. I know that he does not want to hurt us. I know that it's frustrating to not get my way or to feel that I'm not understood or that my feelings are not considered. I know that I want Jack to know that I am here to help him and guide him.

This morning, as his frustration bubbled over yet again, I looked right into his eyes as I restrained his arms and legs and said, "You know how Mama helps you when you are having a hard time riding your bike?" Jack was puzzled enough to stop wiggling for a moment and said, "Yes." "I am going to help you keep your hands and feet to yourself, too." My sweet boy said, "Okay" just before wiggling an arm loose landing a swat on my leg as he said, "watch shapes!"

*sigh*

Marie (mother of Jack, born May 2005)
Check out our blog at http://www.allaccesspasstojack.blogspot.com for glimpses into our busy life with a boy who is busy growing and developing in his own way in his own time

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day 2011! I hope all of you are having a wonderful Mother's Day!

Jack and David made me the most beautiful card:

 My ever poetic and romantic husband also manged to find this card which surprisingly expressed just what he wanted to say:

 And I received this wonderful surprise from my mother-in-law:

Psalm 37:4 says Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (http://bible.us/Ps37.4.NIV) I cannot remember a time when I did not wish to be a mother. As a child, I remember thinking about what kind of mother I wanted to grow up to be. I truly believe that God put that desire in my heart and he fulfilled that desire over and above how wonderful I imagined it could be. He gave me this sweet guy

He made Jack persistent and from his persistence I have learned to have so much hope! He made Jack attention-consuming so that I would not multi-task my way through his life and miss the wonderfulness of each moment. He made Jack sweet and loving to provide me with even more of his love. I could go on and on.....

But God has also richly blessed me with a desire that I did not even fully realize that I had. In fact, he both gave and fulfilled the desire without me taking much notice of it. Did you see the card from my mother-in-law? It's the kind of card that a mother would give a daughter. It's the kind of card shared between two people filled with love for one another. There's nothing like a mother's love and I've privileged and blessed to receive that kind of love from my husband's mother. She's really not even his anymore :) She's mine!

Last night, Jack was rolling around the floor and playing with his drum sticks. He had them crossed one over the other and suddenly looked up and said, "It's an 'X'." Excitedly, I said, "Yes, it is." and called Dave in to see it too. Jack continued in this way, making a y and a v unprompted. He tried to make a w and a z but realizing he needed more than 2 sticks he made those in parts. Then Dave prompted him to make a t and an I.

Kids are so amazing! Jack is a sponge taking in so much information and I love when he shares.

Waiting for the train...

Jack and Uncle Noah hard at work at the zoo.

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The park bridge inspector is back. He just has a new mode of transport.

I knew they wouldn't make it through the movie.

The boys are trying to stay up as long as they can but their lids are getting heavy....

Jack and his "best fwend" are enjoying a late night snack.

Look who's cooking thanks to Grandma's wandering foot (that gathers the loot)!

Shadow dancing...we were so slow to come outside today so we're makin up for it by staying out late.

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You never know when you'll hear, "Okay, take a picture, achoo!"

Mr. Two fisted 'peanut butter jelly' eater asked me to take his picture. I figured he must want y'all to see how cute he is today.

My handsome dinner date has me at the BBQ place.

Look who has decided he loves sprinklers.

The swimming's good here in Weed City!

Our pool and sprinkler mat shrank from last year.

If you do not know Jack, you may not get the coolness of this picture. Jack is visually impaired with light perception in one eye and he's legally blind in the other. He does not have depth perception. When he walks (actually he usually runs) we encourage him to use his long white cane to help him identify curbs, drop-offs, things in his path. He gets better with each use of the cane. BUT you can't use a cane when riding a bike. As usual his ever adaptive self, Jack has learned to look out for curbs and use the bike itself to measure the distance to the curb. AND he has become quite adept at using his little non-bending fine motor impaired fingers and hands to lift the bike up/down the curb independently. Hope you are enjoying this beautiful day as much as we are!

"Go trail, Mama, go traaaaaaaaiiiiiilll" is what I heard this morning. Translation-Take me bike riding over by the bike trail but I will most likely want to ride on the sidewalk by the school. In any case, you are going to hear this repeatedly until we get there.

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