Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ick, Ick

It's an icky, blicky day. We are tired of the rain but honestly Jack has the cutest raincoat ever and we'd play outside in the rain BUT there's also been thunder. I have not actually seen lightning but I'm not taking the chance with my sweet boy. So today, Jack was all about "walking, walking". He said that he wanted to go shopping which really meant he wanted more space than our house to walk around in. We headed to our local mall since there's plenty of room to walk and as an added bonus, they have a carousel! Jack enjoyed the carousel at Disneyland so much I thought it would be fun. And even if we did not ride the carousel he would get to walk. I was fishing through my purse for token money and wondering if I could just buy the token at the service desk rather than fidget with the token machine. The younger lady at the service desk poked the older one and said something to her. While I was still fishing to see if I had two ones, the older lady said, "Oh he rides free" in a very sweet cheery voice. In a much much harsher tone than I meant to, I said, "Oh NO HE DOESN'T." I thought her reply was "All ages ride free." I repeated what I thought I'd heard (ready to argue because I saw other people buying tokens) and she repeated, "All angels ride free." I was going to argue but honestly I don't know if it's the blah weather or what, I just did not have it in me and instead I sort of mumbled, "Thank you."
The thing is he IS an angel but she doesn't know that. She doesn't know anything about him or us. All she did was look at us.
I talked with my church tonight and then later tonight with David after he got home from work. They all had excellent points such as...GranJoy's "You're depriving her of the blessing of helping someone else." and Donna's remarks about the lady probably considering that we've been through a lot and will probably still go through alot and wanting to make things a little easier. I liked what Steve said about Jack having such a strong will and determination that he would not allow other people's low expectations to keep him down. Like me, David is a little torn about the whole thing.
It is JUST A CAROUSEL RIDE but then again it's not just a carousel ride. It's just the kindness and generosity of two mall employees (and apparently mall policy) but it could be about perceptions and the attitude that accomodations must be made. It's just a $2 token to allow Jack to have a bit of fun or is it pity from people who don't know that he has been through a bunch of stuff but he has a pretty good life?
Like David pointed out, some of it is just me. But the question is is this part of the good weirdness of me that makes me a great advocate/cheerleader/Mama for Jack or is this baggage that I need to let go? I'd love to hear your perspective.


Anonymous said...

It's no worse than accepting a wish through Make a Wish. These kids go through a lot, and some people can tell just by looking at them and seeing them that they truly are angels. I think our kids deserve special treatment once in a while.

Isaiah'sMom said...

Oy. We've been there and done that. I'm also torn, and I'm not sure that there really is a set answer. So I take things on a case by case basis and let my instincts guide me. Was the lady being nice because she understands? Maybe she's been there too? Or maybe she's kind, but misguided and needs a little education...even kindness can feel condescending at times (such as when people mean well but say "I could never do that, you are so strong.").

Depending on her age it could be that she's seen children and adults with differences treated harshly and she's tenderhearted. I say that because my grandpa was like that. He had 2 nephews with severe disabilities. He treated my youngest 2 like the only kindness they may see in this world would come from him. I know he meant well, and I know it's hard to see how the world has changed when you spent so much time in a totally different era.

On a good day I try to see through the other person's eyes and give them the benefit of the doubt. On a bad day I may bite a head off.

So...yeah...I just don't know.